Moving

Yes, we're moving in about a week. I am so excited to be getting back to our house. I hate packing though. I hate how I am confronted with just how much junk we've managed to collect, even when we've tried not to do that very thing. It's not all quite ready to go yet, but most things are in boxes.

Ryan is excited about our move. When we told him he wanted to go to our "new house" that very minute. He often asks if our tenants have moved out and when I tell him they haven't he says "tell them to go, mom!"

Basically, our tenants found a new place with more room, which is good becasue they now have five kids. When they moved into our three bedroom house they had four girls. The older girls shared one room and the younger ones shared the other. Then baby Noah came along and he's been sharing the master bedroom with his parents for about a year now. They really need more space.

I'll be going back to work. I'm going to be taking care of two other boys along with my two. I'm excited and have daycare lesson plans already worked out for a few weeks. I'll see how these ideas work out and then we'll move on from there. The extra money and potentially two full days off with Adam will be wonderful. The four children will be a challenge, but I'm sure I'll find my groove.

I did miss the boys the last two days, though I must admit, I enjoyed my time alone. I got to sleep in past 6:30, which was awesome and I got to do things without worrying about bottles, sippy cups, diapers and changes of clothes. It's nice to be able to be around them again, even if I can't hug and kiss them. Just a few more days and I'll be able to enjoy those hugs and kisses again.

Radioactive Woman

Adam is calling my radioactive woman today because I received my radioactive iodine treatment today for my messed up thyroid. My morning experience left me wondering if I'd made the right choice, but it's too late to change things now.

I was up early with the boys and gave them lost of kisses and hugs before I left for the endocrinologists office. I won't be able to give them kisses for a week :( They then left to go to Manchester with Adam where they will be away from me until tomorrow night. The doc said the first 48 hours are when the iodine is most concentrated, though I will have to follow some precautions for the rest of the week.

Anyway, I made it to my appointment in the rain (will it ever stop?) and was brought into a little metal room where the doctor opened a metal safe and took out a metal canister. Inside the metal canister was a vial of one horse-sized pill that I had the joy of swallowing. I was then escorted out the back door. I felt a little like a leper.

It's okay for me to be around other people, but I can't share food or drinks and I should limit my time with pregnant women and children for the next few days. I had a nice relaxing day. I went to Borders and looked at tons of different kids of books... even read some magazine articles. I walked around the mall and had a pedicure. Yay for pedicure. I have pretty feet now ;)

Tomorrow I spend the day visit my regular doctor for a follow up, picking up prescriptions for both Ryan and myself (he started a script for GERD and broke out in a rash from it so we have to change the med) and then I get to go to a movie with my friend Jenni. This has been a nice break from the kids, but I do miss Adam and the boys a lot. It's soooo quite here without them. I am getting a lot of reading done!

In six weeks I'll have some blood work done to see how things with my thyroid are progressing. In most cases, people end up hypothyroid after this treatment and have to take thyroid replacement drugs for the rest of their lives. Some end up having their thyroid work like normal again, but that percentage is really low. The blood work will let them know how much replacement drugs, if any, I will need.

I love my kids

Some days Ryan can be a handful. There are days when I'm so ready to pull my hair out because he's cried all day about nothing. Yesterday wasn't too bad, but he did have a few moments where I could feel my blood pressure rising.

He was up late waiting for his daddy to come home. He's always wanted to be with his daddy at bedtime since he was little. He'd just wake up at the time Adam was supposed to be home and wait. He was so excited to see Adam last night. I love how they get when they're together.

Anyway, at bedtime, Ryan was playing with these magnetic balls and sticks and Adam made two microphones and started singing. I love how Ryan gets into the music and tries to sing. He sways from side to side and bops his head and sings the lyrics a bit late. I couldn't help but laugh last night because he has this little southern drawl when he sings. I'm not sure where he gets it from, but it's funny and cute at the same time.

I also love how Ryan will say "uh huh" when he doesn't know the answer to something and the default color of everything is green. We have these Brain Quest flash cards that we sometimes play with Ryan. I'm always surprised and humored at the answers he gives us. Last night was no exception. There was a picture of a mouse yawning and it asks "what should you do when you yawn." Ryan's response was "go night-night." Then there was a card with the letter "R" on it and we asked if he knew what it was. He said "uh huh" and we try to help him by saying it was the letter his name starts with. And he then goes, "Oh, it's MY letter." We kept trying, but only got answers like "it's my name letter." Of course we told him what it was and then moved on, but I just love these moments with him.

The other day at the grocery store he attempted to pay for the groceries with an expired LL Bean gift certificate. How cute! He wanted to pay with his money because he "eat(s) too."

All of these moments make up for those days when he's most difficult. They make me smile when I think of them and I'm trying to write as many of them down as possible so I can show him later just how cute he was.

Of course, Tim is also a lot of fun these days. He's my little talker and yesterday when we were leaving the park he started crying and pointing at the park and saying "park" in his little Mainer way. He's doing so much right now and it's a lot of fun. He's walking and trying to do everything Ryan does like jumping on the bed.

So while there are days where I feel overwhelmed, I love that I have days when they are angels and we have tons of fun together and they just make me laugh.

Photos and an update

The guys playing TMNT... I think.

The girls outside Shain's.

Can you see his chocolate ice cream mustache?

I love this photo of my boys. Right before I took this photo, they were all sitting in a row.

My update is that I will be having radioactive iodine treatment on my thyroid on June 24. The endocrinologist said this would be his best suggestion, though we did talk about going back to PTU (really not good long term for my heart) and surgery (not very cost effective and does have some risks). I knew my options because I had the same ones about three years ago. I took the PTU option because I wanted to be sure we could have a second baby. Adam and I had both decided that when the options were put on the table this time, we'd go with RAI and get life back to normal. I'm so ready for that, even if it will take 1-4 months to feel like a regular person again. Because I will not be able to hold the kids for two days after the treatment, Adam will be taking two days off with me and hanging out with the boys. I'll be packing to move back to our house, which we do the weekend of July 4! (that's some big news I haven't yet blogged about).

beach time!

Tim really didn't keep the hat on, but we tried!

Katy would have wandered right into the ocean if Sarah wasn't watching her. She loved it!

I love this photo!

Isn't she a cutie?

Ryan would not let the sand get on him. He stayed on the towel the entire time. Tim was covered in sand, went crawling in it, ate it... he had a blast!

Five minute photos

Yesterday, I went to the nuclear department of the hospital and swallowed two pills which were in a plastic bottle and the plastic bottle was in a metal vial. The pills contained a trace amount of radioactive iodine... Adam called me radioactive woman all day.

Today, I had photos taken of my thyroid. I lay in this thing that looks like a CT scanner with a cone-shaped camera while four photos were taken. Each photo took five minutes. Five minutes of only breathing and swallowing. The weird thing is that my nose, neck, chin and other parts of your face itch when I have to sit still for five minutes at a time.

I also had a test in which this robotic arm looking thing tested how much radioactive iodine was in my body versus the amount in my thyroid.

I am awaiting test results (which the nurse at my doctor's office says she'll let me know as soon as she does!) and I see the endocrinologist next week. I bet this week will drag on, but that's okay since Kyle, Sarah and Miss Katy are in town.

Thyroid Update

So, here's the update on my thyroid. The ultrasound I had last week shows that the nodules on my thyroid have grown and my blood tests indicate that my thyroid is producing too much thyroid hormone (hyperthyroidism).

I'll go to visit my old friend, the endocrinologist, who I like as a doctor, in two weeks. But this week I get to take a thyroid uptake scan. Basically, I show up on the day of the test, take a pill with radio active iodine in it and then return to the hospital four hours later to have images taken of my thyroid. I'm told that this test will show whether my nodules are the reason for my thyroid being nutty or if it's just my thyroid all by itself.

I've done lots of reading about this test. I worry about radio active iodine and being around the kids. I won't be able to hold them on the day of the test and will have to do extra cleaning of the toilet after I use it (since the radio active iodine will be eliminated from my body this way). Adam is taking the day off to be with us, but I still imagine I will have to find time to do things outside of the house or away from the kids. They are both mama's boys. I think Adam will have his hands full with the two of them. Ryan constantly wants to play outside and Tim just always wants to be held these days (he has a cold again!). I'm sure he'll do fine.

That's my update.

Here we go again

I thought about making this a good, bad and ugly post, but then it just didn't say enough so I'm making it a longer one.

The last few weeks I've been exhausted. Like sleep for 12 hours at night and nap during the day and still feel beat, exhausted. It stinks because I want to do things with the kids, but I go outside and yawn while I watch Ryan run around and Tim is attached to my hip.

I scheduled an appointment with the doctor. I just couldn't take being tired anymore. I was convinced it was my thyroid.

The good news: I am not pregnant! While I knew that I wasn't, I hate taking that test "just in case" because I would hate to be blindsided by a pregnancy. I especially would hate to be blindsided with that info when Tim is just one and I don't think I want more kids.

The bad news is that I was right and my thyroid is being bad again. So today I had an ultrasound which revealed I have two nodules on my thyroid (I think I had two three years ago, but I'm not sure) and I had more bloodwork done on thyroid hormones.

The ugly is that I have to be tired probably until Thursday when I have my follow up visit again.

At least we have a diagnosis!

Potty Train Part Two

Ryan finally gets the whole using the potty thing! For a long time he's known what to do when on it, but this week it just clicked that he can tell us when he has to go. I am so proud! I am also so very excited that he just gets it.

About a week ago I told him I wouldn't be purchasing any more pull ups simply because they cost too much money. I told him I believed he was my big boy and that he would do awesome using the potty. The first few days were hard. He wet himself often. We changed a lot of pants and did lots of loads of laundry. But we'd go on trips from Manchester to Maine and he would stay try, not wanting his car seat to get wet. I just knew he could do it. I didn't scold the accidents, though I kept reminding him he could let me know when he had to go so I could help him get to the potty on time.

Today, he stayed dry all day. I want to do the happy dance! It was so cute to see him doing that "potty dance" when he had to go and saying "mom, I don't want to be wet.'" and he'd run to the bathroom.

The only pull ups we buy now are for bedtime. He wears Imse Vimse training pants when we go out of the house (these things are worth every penny!) and regular training pants or underwear when we are at home. He loves picking out Mater or McQueen underwear to put on.

Ford Fusion

We are now the owners of a 2009 Ford Fusion. I was so stressed yesterday as we went through the whole car buying process. I was exhausted mentally when we got home and I couldn't believe how long the whole thing took.

Adam left right away to go back to work and I stayed behind to figure out what will happen with the Passat which is still sitting at a local repair shop. I will be taking care of that on this rainy Thursday.

I have no photos, but I hope to post some soon. Ryan likes the new car, which is good, not that it really matters. I'm just glad he won't keep saying "Mom, our car is broke and is at the doctor's office to get fixed." He's said it about a million times since Sunday night.

Yay for a new car.

grrr

We were on the way to Wal-Mart to buy Ryan new shoes, since he keeps telling us his feet hurt in the ones he currently wears, when the car broke down. I was the driver and I looked at Adam and said, "I'm pushing the gas, but we're going slower."

We just made it to the side of the road as it died on us. Something smelled like it was burning. We called our friend Kristin (we're again in Manchester visiting) and she hooked us up with th towing company and local mechanic that Enterprise uses (that's where she and her husband work). The towing was cheaper than I expected (Kyle, I was thinking of you and Adam's late night break down in college). Now we wait for the repairs.

We're all trying to think of the positive stuff instead of the cost of the towing, the rental and the repairs. For one, at least this didn't happen at 8:30 this evening on the way home. We'd have gotten there a lot later than planned. The towing did not cost $300. We are all safe. It didn't happen when I was alone in the car with th kids. I tend to panic and not know what to do. I love that Adam is so calm during these situations.

That said, it still doesn't make me happy that we broke down, but we do have a lot to be thankful for.

good day

We had a nice Thursday together as a family. Adam took four days off to spend with us, mainly because he needed time off, but also because Ry has been acting out because he misses him. I should first mention that Ryan wanted a new piece of his train set and we told him he could get one if he stayed dry all day.

We took Ryan to the Foxrun mall and let him play on the cars and at the little indoor playground. The big kids (Adam and myself) enjoyed some Gloria Jeans. Yum! Ryan used the family restroom kid potty... we were shocked! The pull up was dry.

Ryan then asked to go to Jokers so we took the trip there while everyone except me napped. We played there for a few hours and then decided to go grab dinner with the kids. We went to Famous Daves and let me just say the food is so yummy, but not in anyway diet friendly. I enjoyed my chicken, ribs, corn bread, corn on the cob and spicy green beans. I highly recommend this place.

And we got home and Ryan asked for his train and we said he could get it if he was still dry. And he was dry! He peed on our little potty at home and had been clearly holding it for a long time. Of course, the following day he did not stay dry, but we think we're moving in the right direction.

Ohio

We were in Ohio last week for my grandfather's funeral. I decided to go because I wanted to be with my mom on the loss of her parent (I missed grandma's funeral about two years ago because we had no money) and also to have that possible one last time to see all the aunts, uncles and cousins.

I can now say that I have performed with my Uncle Tom. He sang a beautiful song called "If you could see me now" and I did sign language for it during the service. I liked this type of funeral since just about every member of the immediate family did some part. It felt special more than just having a service done by a pastor.

I was nervous about flying by myself with two kids. The flight there was perfect. Both boy fell asleep during takeoff and woke up when we landed. The flight back was awful. Ryan cried for 40 minutes straight about a car that didn't exist. He then fell asleep. The guy next to me was really nice, but I wanted so badly to crawl under a rock. I was so embarrassed because it wasn't just crying it was screaming as loud as he could.

I had fun with my aunts, uncles and cousins while in Ohio. My aunt has a new dog named Nessarose and she is so sweet. Ryan was scared of her the first few days (he's been scared of dogs since a pug jumped on him and took his chips), but by the end of our stay he was telling me he liked Nessa and wanted a dog like her. We got home and he was still talking about her and telling me his dog is going to be named Presto. Nessa is a toy poodle and costs about $300... I don't think we're getting one anytime soon. Even Tim liked Nessa, except when she barked at him.

We spent afternoons at a local park and Ryan loved it. It was huge and awesome. I even liked it.

And now we're back and enjoying some warm weather in Maine and wishing to be with family again.

A good Friday

We had a lovely Friday this week. Adam, the boys, my sister-in-law and brother-in-law and niece all went to Old Orchard Beach to enjoy the nice weather we were having. The pizza and pier fries were yummy. I have to admit I was pretty upset when I dropped my Lisa's Pizza on the train tracks and then had to settle for Bills because we were crossing the street. I am a Lisa's fan.

We took the kids for a walk on the beach. Tim wanted badly to get down and explore, but I could only imagine having to take handfuls of sand out of his mouth. Ryan wanted to go home, apparently sand is not his thing, especially when the wind is blowing.

We had an amazing time. The sunshine on my skin and the sand between my toes made me feel at home.

Adam and I then went to dinner at the Steakhouse in Wells. We both had baked stuffed lobster and steak. Oh so yummy! I love the Steakhouse and was so glad we were able to have a date night. Neither of us could really recall a date night since maybe my birthday in January.

We also had to go to the opening night of Big Daddy's ice cream shop. I ended my perfect day with Kahlua brownie ice cream.

Four days

I am really excited for the next four days. Adam is here with us in Manchester. On Saturday, we take Ryan (and Tim, but mostly Ryan) to see the Easter Bunny and do an Easter egg hunt. I think it will be so much fun. Today is supposed to get sunny and warm and we'll play outside and bbq our dinner! It will be nice to go to church together on Sunday. It seems like a long time, but I'm sure those four days will fly by.

It's hard being away from Adam for a week at a time, but being here in Manchester has been so refreshing. The sunshine has been awesome. Change has been good.

Ryan draws and paints for Adam and hangs his artwork up to show daddy. He says, "Daddy be so happy of my work!" He's growing into a boy. He's not my baby from a year or two ago. Since we've been here he's managed to tuck himself into bed. He "reads" his books to his Uncle Vince instead of the other way around. And last night he said, "I have to go potty." Then he went in and did the whole thing himself!

And Tim.... he's just getting into trouble while here. He LOVES the cats, but they hate him. He chases them and they run away. He tortured Princess one day till she swiped at him. He isn't allowed to be near the cats or their food. He teases Ryan by stealing his toys and he fights back when Ryan hits him or takes his toys now.

And me....I've gotten to read books during the afternoon because I have managed to get both boys to nap at the same time every day. I've also been working on my Wii skills. Adam brought a new workout game for me so we can continue to work on those stubborn 20 lbs.

And for the next four days I get t hang out with my husband and the kids and have like a mini vacation here in Manchester.

Hmmm...

So I was in a store today where the woman asked to see my ID so I could use my debit card as credit. I gave it to her and she said, "Wow, you're from Nevada?"

WHAT?

How do you get Nevada out of a driver's license that has MAINE printed right across the top? Did she even read it?

Getting Tim to sleep

Timothy has been a great sleeper since we brought him home from the hospital. We put him in the crib and he goes to sleep sucking his thumb.

Lately, that hasn't been the case at all. He gets up in the middle of the night and will not sleep in his bed. Being on a higher dose of meds lately has made me extra sleepy, so instead of getting him back in his bed, he ends up sleeping in mine. I needed a solution.

I attempted the Ferber method for going to bed so I wouldn't have to rock him and also for night time wakings. But Tim would cry for an hour if we let him and get all worked up and literally covered in snot and tears. This method worked great for Ryan, but it wasn't working at all for little Tim. He knows what he wants and will stop at nothing to get it.

So I started searching for other methods online and came across a blog in which a mother praised the Super Nanny's gradual method of being in the room as they fall asleep and then eventually not being there at all. I kind of modified it a little and I stand next to his crib while I tell him I'm there and that he doesn't have to worry and can go to sleep. Once I hear somewhat relaxed breathing I start to move out of the room. Tonight I won't be standing next to the crib as he starts that relaxed breathing. I'll be a little bit farther away. It's worked in the middle of the night without waking Ryan up since the boys share a room and I'm happy with our progress. The only time Tim was in our bed last night was for a middle of the night feeding because he didn't finish his bottle before bed.

I guess it's true what they say... every child really is different and requires different styles of parenting. The sure keep me on my toes!

Growing up

My boys are growing up. For the last two nights, Ryan has put himself to bed. He doesn't want to be tucked in or anything. He just says good night and goes to bed :(

And Tim tries to climb the stairs! YIKES! We have to keep close eyes on him.

Vacation in Manchester

The boys and I have taken a vacation in Manchester. We're with our friends Vince and Kristin. I had lots of photos to post, but apparently, blogger is currently not allowing me to do that. 

We've had fun this far, though we do miss Adam who is still in Maine working hard.  His store has a remodel and he'll be working long hours, which is the main reason for this trip. I at least get to see people my own age and have someone to hang out with in the evenings. 

The other reason for this trip (which will be a much more detailed later post) is for me to have some change in hopes of having my PPD get a bit better. I don't think I've ever posted here about my postpartum depression, but I am one of the many women who are on this journey. I will recover. I will be myself again. 

The boys are having lots of fun and we're on our way to do more painting. I'll post pictures as soon as blogger lets me!

A fun week

I can't even being to post about how much fun we had this past week. On Saturday and Sunday it was so nice out. The kids and I were able to get some much needed doses of warm weather and sunshine. Then it snowed on Monday and we had freezing rain on Tuesday, or was it Wednesday? I discovered that Tim LOVES the sled. He laughed when I pulled him around and cried when I stopped. It was really cold out the day we did this and we didn't stay out long. We came in and had a warm bath. I think he's so cute here!

We spent a few days in Manchester with our friends Vince and Kristin. This is Tim playing in Ryan's Police house thingy. He's saying, "yeah, I'm in here, what you gonna do about it?"

We had such a good time at Vin and Kris' place, even though every one of our girl night things kept getting ruined. First, the salon closed at 6 the night we arrived and there was no pedi and eyebrow wax with facial massage (wicked cheap), so we went to Big Lots instead and bought stuff, mainly for the kids. The second night we were going to do one of those paint your own pottery things and the place was PACKED. The lady said it is never like that. Just our luck. We did more shopping, this time at Wal-Mart and Target. Sigh.


We also went to see the train come in on Friday. Vince's friend John was coming for a visit and Ryan was super excited to see a train again. It ended up being way colder than we thought it would. When we left it was sunny and 50 and when we got to the train station the wind had picked up and it was like 40 or something crazy like that. Here's Tim wearing Ryan's Elmer Fudd hat. Sooo cute!


Ryan freezing with Vince while waiting for the train.

Ryan on Wednesday driving his car in the slush. This was the day Tim came down with this horrible bug. Snotty nose, horrible cough and diarrhea! Not fun at all!!!

Ryan didn't want to leave Manchester. Lucky for him, we'll be back very soon (coming in a post later this week).

Oh and I'm reading The Historian. It's so good and I don't want to put it down, but we did painting today and tried to play outside. And we had to play with Play Doh and drive trucks on roads too and neither of my kids too an afternoon nap. Now Ryan's fast asleep and Tim is kinda asleep. He keeps moaning and then crying... poor baby. I hope he gets better soon.